Work Diary 3
...the one that may be just for catharsis
I apologize in advance for how all over the place this diary may be.
Episode 3 was supposed to be an introduction to workplace feedback, I have the draft and I had already gotten my editor’s feedback.
But you guys, things don’t always go as planned.
This week I have just considered so much how much I actually dislike my job- on some days, in my head (and maybe on twitter) I have used the word hate.
I’m exhausted.
My job function requires that all my executive functions be at optimum performance, and anyone who knows me knows that my memory is not currently executive in function.
In 2015, my friend used to jokingly say that I had the memory of a goldfish- that’s how bad it was.
But really I am just a corps member and it has been only 6 months, so how hard can it be? Honestly, I don’t know because I am constantly getting rude shocks.
I just know that today I am particularly extremely frustrated (yes, yes 2 adverbs 🙄 ) and I do not like how this feels.
I interviewed for a specific role and on my first day I was bumped to something else- something I really disliked, but I stayed on and didn’t complain because; grit and perseverance, and I actually can make the best out of the worst situations plus everything that led up to even getting an NYSC placement- I don’t wish it on anyone. I was not ready to experience that again.
Working here required some major adjustments, which I shared on the podcast- and you can listen to once we are back on streaming platforms.
Finally, I adjusted but it’s like every month holds something new in store for me.
I’m counting down to my PoP and on the other hand, I also am not.
I am actually getting weary.
I have NEVER seen bureaucracy this high in my life- it’s crazy and please don’t even get me started on the culture.
To be fair, this is not a bad organization, it’s just not a good fit for me and I’m not about to chip the edges of my square peg to fit into this particular round hole. I am not going to do that plus NYSC will be over in a second
Today I am particularly frustrated because my project keeps hitting roadblocks and I am currently too exhausted to continue fighting for it.
I just considered leaving it and leaving the organization to hire someone who will do it for them at 10x my current remuneration- but I want to complete this.
Is it normal to keep having meetings on the same issue, with the same people, over and over again? or am I really just extremely new to this corporate lifestyle?
Tonight I am tired, just like I was in April when I got another job offer but turned it down by the leading of the Holy Spirit (cue Diary 2 where I talked about the hand of God).
So clearly, God wants me here for now, and I have no other option than to learn and grow, stay and grow, and build the grit and perseverance that McKinsey Forward has plastered in my memory as being fundamental to career success.
I have taken this experience as a learning curve.
Now I know where I most definitely cannot work again; organization type, and role.
I am learning how to handle difficult leaders, and to manage upward.
And I am praying and praying that I pass all my future job interviews 😪
So what’s the lesson for you in this? (I’m not just an entertainer, you have to learn something too)
Um…serve in Lagos? 😂😅
I think a key lesson here is to be assertive at work. As an intern/entry level employee, if you believe a role is not suited to your skill set please feel free to reach out to your HR to discuss the possibilities of exploring different departments- I did this, but the different departments did not exist so I was quite literally stuck.
Another lesson is definitely that you have an open mind to learning from your mistakes. I have learnt so much from mine, and I know what to do and not do in my next place of employment (after acing the interviews of course)
Finally, I don’t think a bad workplace or culture should translate into a bad personal work culture. You can still uphold your personal standards of work excellence whether you like it or not.
I now know what to expect and ask in my next interviews because, you people, affliction MUST NOT arise a second time.
Once bitten twice shy, or however the baby boomers say it.
I’ll delete this eventually- you are fortunate to be one of the early subscribers to my work diary hence access to exclusive tea.
Newer subscribers will just be confused when they see that there’s no Diary 3 but we the OGs will know 😉
This worked!
Off to start my day.
